Why You’re Not a Slut

From time to time, I like to take out my soap box and jump on it with the fury of a chick on a mission. I like to scream at the top of my lungs and make those around me say, “She’s obnoxious!” However, I reserve this totally and completely for topics that I hold dear to my heart. And, this is one of them.

As women, we are subject to more than just body scrutiny, but our actions and even sexuality are controlled and policed by those around us. This is why I must take out my soap box once again and scream, “ENJOY!” This is for all the wonderful, beautiful, bright and fabulous women and young ladies that have had their names tarnished for enjoying life and not apologizing for it.

I understand that we are no longer in the era of “free” love, however I do think we’ve entered a time where “love” can be given up through discretion.  My point here is that we ban ourselves from calling each other (women) sluts and from branding ourselves as well. While this sounds easy, in theory it will take work.

So why are women not “sluts”? Because women are just as in charge of their sexual behavior as men and should enjoy being able to make these choices for themselves.

Minding Our Own Business: First and foremost, we need to learn to mind our own business and stop judging other women. “Hooking up” is not a bad thing and should not be seen as such. Many women view having sex as something to enjoy, but also an act that is “bad” or “wrong” because having sex is seen as having loose morals by those around us. As women, we shame our friends, sisters, and acquaintances simply by scrutinizing their sexual habits, when in reality, what another woman does in the dark (or light) in her own bedroom is her business and not our own. Instead of casting judgment, we need to allow the women around us to make their own choices.

Stop Judging Ourselves: Secondly, we need to stop judging ourselves. Look, we all have needs and sometimes those needs have to be met. Allowing yourself to do something you WANT to do is not going to ruin your life. You will not go down an unforgivable path if you hook up with someone that you like. Hooking up with a cute boy that you’ve had the chance to talk with, laugh with and get to know is just the icing on an already delicious and irresistible cake. Making choices wisely by only going home with someone your comfortable with and trusting your instincts will allow you to make the right choice.

So Please Remember: If you liked a boy and talked to him for three months and find yourself making out with him, you’re not a slut. If you met a guy at a party and he’s the crème de la crème, you’re not a slut. If you’ve had a good first, third, fourth or twentieth date with a guy that’s smart, funny and you see him as the bee’s knees, you’re not a slut!

See the pattern here?

Danielle Mair has 5 post(s) on Love Twenty