It’s expensive yet priceless, stressful yet carefree, and the only four years of your life where you are considered both an academic scholar and an immature adolescent. College may be the first step into the real world, but it’s a baby step if you consider the amount us “kids” get away with. But hey, if we don’t have to wake up at 7 a.m. every day or worry about paying bills just yet, why not milk it while we can?
1. Travel anywhere and everywhere for a month or the summer: Real world jobs don’t schedule three months of tanning and swimming into the fiscal year. Take advantage of your last four years of free summers by studying abroad, backpacking through Europe, and taking road trips with friends to see the world’s largest piece of cheese.
2. Get away with weight gain by calling it the “freshman fifteen”: With meal plans and fast food delivery options open until 4 a.m., it’s nearly impossible to not pack on a few! You can get away with this excuse as long as you are enrolled as a full-time student, but after graduation they go back to being called “pounds.”
3. Turn every holiday into an excuse to dress scandalous: Doesn’t matter if it’s Halloween, Christmas or Columbus Day. A mini skirt and Victoria’s Secret Bombshell bra are always in season!
4. Treat empty alcohol bottles as room décor: Only in college do empty bottles stacked up on shelves look like the home of a fun-loving social butterfly and not an alcoholic. It’s recycling, really. We’re just doing our part.
5. Turn Uggs and a Northface into the unofficial school uniform: You figure you spent over a hundred dollars each for both of these items, might as well get your money’s worth by wearing them every day to class!
6. Regularly donate blood plasma for money: Lucky for you, your body’s blood plasma reproduces every month and is worth about thirty bucks. (Can you say cab fair?) If it weren’t for your poor finances, this act would sound scary and dangerous being done so frequently. But again, your poor, poor finances…
7. Use the “it’s a beautiful day outside” excuse to ditch class: Three absences may drop you a letter grade, but one day off to sit in the sun never hurt anyone! It’s not like you have to call in sick or email your professor with a legitimate excuse to not take notes on the PowerPoint slides.
8. Publicly urinate in backyards at midnight: Publicly urinating could land you a major fine. Plus it’s just downright nasty. Then again, using the potty at a fraternity house is an equal amount of downright nasty. When nature calls, answer it!
9. Hook up with everybody and their (frat) brother: Though the new hook-up culture is incorporating its way into out of college daters’ lives, reputations aren’t as prevalent as you’d expect them to be in college as they are outside. If you hooked up with every hottie in the office, you’d be labeled something awful. But if you hooked up with three of the guys at the party you’re at in college, chances are the two girls standing next to you probably did too.
10. Announce every move you make via social media: Reading a stream of “just wanna go back to bed” tweets on a Monday morning from classmates is protocol. Reading incessant updates from those older-than-average friends on Facebook always ends up feeling a little out of place.
Do these excuses hold true to you, too? Tell us in the comments section below!