Sex, sexo, seks, sugu, le sexe–no matter what language you say it in or how you spin it, sex is a word not all women are comfortable saying. This is not even a conversation we are comfortable having even in the safest of environments. As we grow into women, we struggle with finding our identity and struggle even more with owning our sexuality. We cruise the pages of magazines such as Glamour and Cosmopolitan for “25 tips on how to please your man” or “what to say to turn him on.” We read through these articles making little mental notes and at times, even chuckling as you tell yourself you could never do or say that.

These articles are all fine and dandy, but I pose the question what about us, Cosmopolitan? What about the young women reading these articles–how do we please ourselves? Therefore, I challenge all ladies out there to put down their issues of Cosmo and discover themselves.

Challenge 1: Feeling Sexy Comes From Within: I’m sure many of you out there have heard this before, but we need to stop tearing ourselves to shreds any chance we get. Look at yourself in the mirror and chose one thing about yourself that you love, whether it be your perfect pout, white teeth or the freckles you hated growing up. Remind yourself that you are beautiful, smart, and amazing. Once you make the conscious effort to appreciate and love yourself, not only will you feel better, but you will exude confidence and no scent is sexier than confidence.

Challenge 2: Self Exploration:  This challenge is simple; take some time to think about what is important to you. What do you believe in? What are you all about? What ideas do you hold sacred? Appreciate who you are and the unique things that make you, you.

Challenge 3: Take a Trip to Victoria’s Secret: Now that you have your new-found confidence, buy yourself some sexy underwear. Something that makes you feel sexy while lounging around your house or underneath your work clothes. This doesn’t have to be a thong or something lacy; it can even be cute cotton boy shorts. Whether you work at an office or a fast food joint, this is the key to keeping you feeling sexy. It’s your little secret!

Challenge 4: Put Your Best Lips Forward: Buy lipstick. It doesn’t have to be something bright or neon, but something you feel comfortable wearing. It has to make you feel sexy and confident. Throw it on as you run out the door to keep you feeling beautiful all day.

Challenge 5: Don’t Be Afraid to Ask: Now that you have some tools to help you feel confident and sexy, don’t be afraid to ask your partner for things that make you feel good. Men have no problem voicing their opinion and neither should you. Don’t ever feel embarrassed or ashamed to speak up in the bedroom. No matter what your relationship status is–Single, Engaged, Married, It’s complicated, or even Friends with Benefits–always remember to practice safe sex and insist on using some form of birth control. Remember no glove, no love!

What tips do you have for feeling sexy?