Ever since mastermind and happily ever after enthusiast Walt Disney introduced us to the idea of a fairy tale, it’s safe to say we’ve been hooked. The glitz, the glamour, the knight in luxury brand armor–we eat it up like it’s calorie free bundt cake. We spend our lives searching for the prince charming who’s top priority is to sweep us off our feet, yet live in constant fear that it’s an absolution that may never come.
Yet, our hope was restored when we saw our fairy tale come to life before our tear-filled eyes the moment Will and Kate said their “I dos.” She’s the girl duchess who has everything, yet instead of loving to hate her, we idolize her for all the right reasons. She takes her beauty, fame, and royal arm-candy anywhere and everywhere but for granted, and inspires us to aim for the tasteful ideals our Disney princesses always held high in turn. Though she never had to scrub the floors of Buckingham to get where she is today, we can’t help but dub her as the apple of our generation’s eye — and we just can’t get enough.
A different Kate, however, seems to have taken the world by storm in recent years as well. For those of you who don’t know Miss. Upton, turn to the nearest male specimen in sight and he’ll clue you in on all 5’10 of her. The twenty-year-old who has graced the covers of — you know what, time out. The fact that she’s twenty years old deserves a moment of silence — perhaps even a year. Regain your composure, and carry on. Since first featured in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue just last year, she has stolen the hearts of countless googley-eyed men, and entranced them with her enormous… accomplishments. She’s beautiful, successful and charismatic to no end. However, while men completely fawn over her, women can’t stand her for one hot second. Perhaps it’s envy, bitterness, or our old familiar friend jealousy rearing her ugly head. But rather than dwelling on these things, we should make sure our hands are clean before we point our fingers.
The female population as a whole cannot deny our fascination — okay, obsession — with great-looking men in tinseltown today. Whether we’re fantasizing about doing our laundry on Gosling’s abs, or plotting the breakup of newlyweds Timberlake and Biel, they’re constantly in our heads… and we’re not complaining. But you know who else isn’t complaining? The guys. Rather than obsessing about our undying love for the physical attributes of these Hollywood heartthrobs, they’re carrying on throughout their days… just as we should be. We’ve heard it all before — men are from Mars, women are from Venus — but guess what? Neither one of us are on either of these planets… we’re on Earth. Unless you’re aspiring to become the next Felix Baumgartner, I recommend you stay grounded both literally and figuratively.
We could easily hate the Duchess for all of her awe-inspiring qualities, but instead we praise her upon them. I’ll be the first to admit I’m head over heels in love with her, and I’ve never even heard the woman speak. While Upton has yet to save the world one charitable donation in kick-ass Louboutins at a time, she also has yet to scorn any of us personally. She knows nothing about us, which reconfirms the fact that she ceases to care about us either. So why should we waste our precious time and bitterness on her?
Before we can succeed in our quest for something borrowed or something blue, we must first focus on kicking our pre-marital blues to the curb. By expecting nothing, we’ll never be disappointed. For at the end of the day, it isn’t Middleton’s gigantic rock or Upton’s gigantic rack that we have to blame for our bitterness; it’s our own expectations. Drop it while it’s hot, and start appreciating all the jaw-dropping qualities staring right back at you in your newly-Pinterested mirror. Flash yourself a smile and get your act together, because this isn’t dress rehearsal — it’s showtime.